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In his book entitled, Personal Coaching for Results, Lou Tice compares our comfort zone to a house thermostat. Although the thermostat may be set to 70 degrees, the temperature inside the house will range from about 68 to 72 degrees.
The problem with most people is that there internal thermostat is broken. Should the temperature of change vary even one degree they get uncomfortable. The key to fixing your thermostat is to experience, experiment, challenge yourself…and persist. The more you do this, the more confident you will become and the more your comfort level will expand.
Like Goethe said, “Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it”. Remember, whether it’s speaking to a group, writing a book or starting a new business, you set your own limitations…and make your own successes.
Larry is from South Dakota. Since birth he has had a speech and motor skill handicap. He can't talk other than uttering guttural sounds. He doesn't possess the motor skills to drive a car and has trouble maneuvering utensils at the dinner table.
Recently, I had the opportunity to fly Larry and his mother to a restaurant in California for an afternoon lunch. It was a beautiful day and the air was smooth as silk. As we flew over to the restaurant, I noticed that instead of looking at the scenery outside, Larry fixated on what I was doing in the cockpit, watching my every move.
On the way back to Sacramento, Larry sat up front. We hadn’t been in the air more than a few minutes when he did something peculiar. With his hands slightly cupped, he raised them to shoulder height and slowly rotated them up and down as if he were flapping wings. Then he stopped…pointed to the control wheel…and then pointed to himself.
I finally figured out what Larry was trying to tell me.
We were about 15 miles away from the airport when I turned to Larry and said, “Sacramento is straight ahead. It’s your airplane".
At that moment something magical happened to my cousin from South Dakota. He gazed out the front of the window toward Sacramento. As if to figure out his game plan. Like a captain in charge of his ship, he eyed the horizon and then scanned the instrument panel before him. He looked at me as if to get a final approval. I merely said, “Go for it, Larry”. And he did.
Larry was no longer the passenger, no longer the spectator in the bleachers. Larry was now the captain. His handling of the aircraft was superb. His turns we’re all beautifully executed. I couldn’t believe my eyes as he confidently handled the airplane with the same finesse of some of my commercial students.
Larry did something that we can all learn from. He refused to live with his limitations. Larry decided to do something so bizarre, so totally beyond his “perceived” ability that he forgot he had limitations at all. The airplane was Larry’s vehicle to a brighter picture of himself.
Let your speaking skills be your vehicle.
Don’t brand yourself with limitations. You can change the picture of yourself beginning today…right now. You now have the tools to develop your communication skills. You can speak with confidence, compassion and charisma. You can do it, so just go for it.
Here are four quick and dirty, take-action-now steps to get started:
1. In the next 5 minutes log on to www.toastmasters.org. Find an active club near you, note the day and time they meet, put that day into your calendar…and show up. Just flat show up. No invitation needed. If they do ask who invited you, just say “Tillison!” and be done with it.
2. When you go to the meeting, smile…as if you own the place. Relax…as if you’re on a cloud. Listen…as if to hear a secret. Key point: Everyone at the meeting was, or is, outside their comfort zone, but becoming more comfortable (and more confident) with each Toastmaster meeting.
3. In two weeks log back on to www.tillison.com, go to the contact page, and let me know the progress you’ve made. I guarantee you will begin to discover new and refreshing confidence. Remember, it’s all about stepping outside your comfort zone (we call it the “Hell Train” of life.)
4. Finally, apply your new found communication skills to everyone you meet. Your boss, co-worker or client. Push the envelop. Fly the airplane even if, like Larry, you're not "supposed" to be able to it...do it anyway!
You're life will never be the same.
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