You wonder where you went wrong. You worked hard. You never cheated the company. You always kept your nose clean. Yet the boss has just handed you a one-way ticket to hell - you’ve been asked to give a speech.
Sooner or later most of us feel the heat. Maybe we’re asked to give a presentation at work, chair a meeting or propose a toast at a friend’s wedding. The moment we stand to speak, our brain blows a fuse. Sparks fly and smoke fills the cranium. An otherwise intelligent adult suddenly mutates into a quivering mass of pointless pulp.
This is why many of us would rather sit on the sidelines and live a less than passion-filled life. It’s safer. Memories of college speech classes, high school book reports or even elementary school experiences can haunt our minds like dragons in the dark. We’ve learned it’s better to shut up than stand up.
As Jerry Seinfeld says, most would rather be in the casket than give the eulogy. He’s right. It’s an experience that would scare the hell out of anyone.
As Tom Peters says, “the whole issue with speaking at any level is loosening up and getting comfortable.”
But how do you loosen up when you’re petrified? To answer that, let’s look at someone who is the epitome of confidence: the airline pilot. Here is a person who is seemingly in total control of every situation. Calm and confidant, a perfect picture of composure. Was he or she born that way? ……Of course not.
Every captain now flying was once a bungling student with butterflies, doubts and sweaty palms. Just like the first-time speaker, the first solo wasn’t great. But after a number of botched landings, they began to improve…..and …eventually their confidence increased.
It is the same for public speaking. At first you’re shaking like a leaf. “What if I blank out? What if they laugh? What if I crash and burn?” But something strange happens. You don’t blank out. No one laughs. You don’t crash and burn. Your heart may pound, your palms might sweat, but the feeling is unmistakable. You’ve overcome a major fear.
What’s more, you’re now personally connecting with people. People in your company, your industry, your organization – the community at large. And whether you know it or not….people need you now more than ever. Our impersonal, isolated love affair with technology and TV have created a culture starving for personal contact, guidance and leadership.
People want to hear your words of encouragement, success, mistakes and lessons you’ve learned in life.
The following are nine specific, user-friendly exercises to help you become your best. With a little effort, you will attain a lifetime of benefits from their use. Don’t give up on this topic because your persistence will make you stronger and your successes will make you more confident.
Relax, take your time and trust in the fact that you can and will make changes for the better. Practice the following pointers until they give you the gifts you desire and deserve. I guarantee you will experience a buoyant spirit you’ve never felt before.
1. Get physical
The next time you’re on the telephone, stand up. Talk as you normally would with one exception. Move about. Raise your arms, smile and freely animate body and voice.
Relax as you walk about. Now, while still on the telephone, imagine you’re at a meeting “talking” to a group of people.
After practicing your moves on the telephone, transfer this “workout” to your live presentation. As you’re standing in front of the group, imagine once again, talking on the phone, gesturing and smiling, just like you were in your office or home.
You’ll find this exercise not only improves your telephone tactics and presentation skills, but the training is as close as the phone and won’t cost you a cent.
2. Speak from the gut
Tell us your lessons in life. The advantage of relating your experience is that you own the story. It’s your experience. When you personalize your talk, it becomes tangible and real. People relate to it.
“But I’m an accountant”, you might say. “How can I breathe life into a topic as dry as a decimal point?” The answer is this: Whatever your profession, search your past. Find those unforgettable, yeasty experiences that are burned indelibly into your brain. Unforgettable customers, an inspiring boss, the co-worker from hell, extraordinarily tough times or emotional moments of courage and success. Each of these experiences can be converted into captivating life-lessons.
And therein lies your secret weapon. You might call it gut advantage. When you speak from a personal reference, you’ll discover power you never knew existed.
3. Power Pause.
If you should lose your place or forget what you’re going to say, make use of the pregnant pause, which is nothing more than an exaggerated delay to your next idea. Stand firm with a meditative air, as you sort things out in your mind.
What may seem like a huge mistake to you, will probably not even be noticed by your listeners. In fact, an extended pause coupled with self-assured body language can often lend power and authority to whatever message you’re trying to convey.
4. Lead, don’t read.
Reading to children at bedtime is great. It puts them to sleep. However when speaking to a group of adults, reading is the kiss of death. No matter how good, logical or brilliant the material, reading to an audience is like a bedtime story. It’s time to snooze.
Nobody can blame you for wanting to read from a script. It’s easier and it reduces the chance of forgetting your lines. But your listeners will always welcome a message that comes from your heart instead of your script. Believe it or not, butchered spontaneity is more effective than flawless perfection.
5. Fake it
There will be times when things don’t go as planned. But ask yourself this question: Does anyone really know what you’re going to say or how you’re going to say it?
One of the greatest short speeches ever given was by Winston Churchill, after World War II. Thousands of people waited to hear his address. Finally, he gazed out at the crowd. There was a hushed silence. Then he uttered those immortal words of victory and encouragement, “Don’t ever give up.” He paused a moment then said again, “Don’t ever, ever give up” He then proceeded to sit down.
The crowd went wild. The speech went down in history. Powerful and moving. It was Britain’s finest hour.
But I have a question for you. What if Churchill intended to give a long and rambling 90- minute speech, but blanked out and could only think of four words, don’t ever give up?
Did Churchill intend such brevity? Or did he go blank – and fake it. No one will ever know. What we do know is that those words were spoken with such confidence that the speech went down in history as one of the most moving messages of all time.
6. Create buzz
Make sure the room is bright and cheery. Have fun. Turn up the lights. Inject some humor. Dress crisply. Give the impression you are in charge, professional and prepared.
7. Resonate
Nothing enhances projection more or improves a mood quicker than uninhibited singing. Singing loosens you up and helps vocally project.
Singing will help you become less self-critical in how you think you sound. It will get you used to your voice and at the same time enhance your vocal range as well.
8. See it happen
Without a doubt, one of the most important personal success tools you develop is your ability to paint mental simulations of you succeeding. With reference to your speaking situations, visualize your relaxed new manner. See yourself speaking confidently. Picture yourself acting confidently among a group of approving adults. Clearly envision smiling and speaking fluidly, enjoying the positive experience.
9. Encore!
When you get up to talk for a second, third and forth time, you’ll find yourself improving. Keep hammering away. Join Toastmasters, speak up at business meetings, toast a bride, roast a groom or say a few words at a community conference. Remember, repetition gives you confidence. Practice gives you poise.
Don’t wait until the boss hands you a “ticket to hell” to take the challenge. Apply your skills at work tomorrow morning. Crush your fears and let that gutsy little kid in you comes out again. Allow yourself to be bold, daring, and confident. Do this – and nothing will stop you.
